Answer me, it it what you want?

Suddenly this question came into my mind, and i don’t know how to answer.

yes, the jurney to russia is really nothing, coz you were accompunied all with friends, who know you well. but life in another country totally by yourself is just another thing. just think about your way to the campus. you don’t knwo how to get a taxi, you don’t know to talk to strangers, you’ve no idea about where your domitory will be, who your roommate will be. you’ve been lucky, i know that, but that does not guarantee your smooth future.

is this what you really want? do you already have preparation for that kind of life? do you know what lies beyond?

no i don’t. i really don’t know the answer. i don’t know if i made the right decision. don’t ask me again. or i’ll be totally lost…

i’m not a brave one. i don’t know how to face it. no, i don’t. but what else shall i do? i have no choices now…